>Lost. II

>Life takes us to different places. Some seen, some unseen. Some new, some old. Some happy, some sad. Some adventurous, some pleasant. Some lively, some silent. Some pretentious, some real. Some different, while rest seem just the same…

And through all this, we can’t deny the fact, that we all, every once in a while, feel lost. Not knowing where we are, not knowing where to go, not knowing from where we began, not knowing where we will end up, not knowing what will supposedly happen with us, not knowing anything. For that one moment, we feel the darkness completely surround us, take us down, break us apart, tear us to pieces. It may be in the next street, a new town/city, a new locality, an unknown crowd, sometimes, even within yourself.

Whenever anyone says ‘Get lost’ to me, jovially, I can’t help having a smile to myself. Remembering how I felt the last time I actually felt lost. The last time when I felt utterly helpless, for those few milliseconds, the chill through my spine, the agony in my thoughts, the pain in my eyes, the desire to be around someone who is just called ours, who can take us out of there easily, safely.

Even in life, just as in travels and expeditions, we feel lost. Lost within our thoughts, within our own selves. And we are desperate to turn to light, wherever, however we may find it. Stream out of the darkness, move out of the pain, strike through life, get going to our destination. To live the dream, to feel victorious, to feel satiated. But once there, we do, always think about that feeling of lost again, once. And then, just when we want to know how we felt lost, within a moment, our thoughts get diversified, even before we know. We can’t make that out. We can’t feel the difference of, neither where we have been, nor from where we stemmed up. We may feel this feeling for those minuscule time period, but, that leaves on us a lasting impression that most of the times, which even we fail to realize.

I have indeed been fascinated by this power of the dark, to hold us victimized, slaves, even. Pretty much one of the most powerful things I have ever witnessed. Invariably. It can create wonders, work marvels, turn tables, break barriers, give someone life and what not! But again, it can also create a ruckus. The despair, change the way of life, turn someone evil, contemplate suicide, succumb, tear apart. All of it.

The most compelling kind of darkness is the one within ourselves, that we fail to rise from, incidentally, because we can’t ever defeat oneself. It’s a one-on-one battle, which never ends, the battle between the good side and bad side of ourselves. The way we are, through what life has made us. Either we find our way through the maze, or we shudder to it’s complexities.

Throughout this phase of transition, we feel covered by a layer of uncertainty surrounding us. Somehow feared, afraid of losing. It’s that moment when we know what defeat would mean to us and we know we can’t afford to lose, for our own good. But some other times, we do lose. To ourselves, and bring in a negative change. Adjust, adapt. Accept it.

While this turns out, we don’t really lose hope of standing up once again, do we? The hope and belief to be loved and trusted again. To be able to stand up, soar into the sky, from the hallows, like a phoenix would… Somehow, still, life. It’s just the same person who once got wilted in front of defeat. The same person who gave-in to the dark.

Life, existence, living isn’t always a sore ride. It pretty much turns better once we tear apart and rise from every thing that holds us behind. Be it the past, relationships, guilt, events, everything. Just when we feel we are ready enough to ditch the dark loss and turn to the bright again. Just then…

We may have to take a few harsh decisions, a few tough steps, take a step backward, halt, ask for help, leave out a few things that we feel are important, just because we want to be where it would mean. In light, where the joy-ride commences. Just there…

Until then, we are all just, lost…

(Reader’s note: Less than 24 hours ago, I wrote a poem with the title ‘Lost.’ and it may surprise you why it comes up as an article here. Well, indeed, as someone pointed it out to me, the poem, didn’t make much sense to the reader. It didn’t flow well. So, that someone, subtly told me that poetry wasn’t my forte, which I indeed agree upon. It was just a few lines that came to my mind which made me write it then. I guess I will stick to paraphrases from next time. But just in case, after reading this, if my poem makes ‘some’ sense, I would like to be informed. Regards.)

Until next post…


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