>Sorry, Thank You, Please!

>Pretty often have I met new people. And even more often do I hear words that are supposedly ‘Golden’. Sorry, Thank You, and Please. And I, without a doubt, fail to understand what’s so golden about these so-called Golden words?!

When we meet people, we get to know them. We share, we care, we learn, and within all this, we barely realize when we begin a new relationship. Peculiarly, every relationship we make, is based on different values and has its own importance. Some on trust, some on love, some on knowledge, some on sharing, some on caring, some on kindness… And the list, is endless! But every relationship, and (almost) everyone of us, considers that saying these golden words, is necessary, whenever the need be.

It just doesn’t get my head on it as to why should anyone use these words? What really is the significance behind it? And how many times do we really mean them?

Simply said, when we make a mistake, we say ‘Sorry’ to the people who show that we have hurt them. We don’t really apologize to those who hide their hurt just to see us happy. And that’s just where we falter!

In the world around us, there are people who want to be ‘Thanked’, who want to feel gratified, proud too, may be, and most of them, even ask for it. If not in their words, in their actions, behaviour, show, and we are lured to thanking them for whatever little or great deal they do to us, for us. Seems real and even justified, ain’t it? Not to me.

And there comes the most useful (sarcasm) word of English language. ‘Please’. Even after knowing and using English for 15 years, through school and junior college, I am still not sure what this word really means. A request? An order? A desire? A lie? Or the easiest way to dupe someone? Apparently, all. That makes me wonder about everywhere we use this word. It’s so varied and irrelevant, even.

Okay right, I am talking about ideal relationships where I wouldn’t have to use these words. But, in my opinion, every relationship is ideal. In its own simple ways.

Why should one be ‘Sorry’ for a mistake he/she makes in a relationship? Why should the other person apologize? You look into the eyes and you see that the person regrets doing what’s done, you talk to the person and you hear the guilt in the voice, you read their words and you feel that the pain has struck their heart. Through all this, you know what the other person means. That’s simple to see. In every way, they are just saying, ‘I know I made a mistake. But, I won’t repeat it. And I will take care and make sure it doesn’t. Trust me.’ And that’s what makes the difference.

Why say ‘Thank You’ when whatever we do in a relationship is to see the other person happy without expecting of rewards or returns? Why would there be a need to say it if the gesture came straight from the heart, and that’s how it normally does? Why not just let it slip by with a sweet smile, and joy in the eyes which express how truly happy you are? Why not just hug them and tell them how lucky you feel to have them in your lives? Why not just hold the moment as if it’s cherished? Why spoil the serenity of the beautiful relationship by making the feeling of gratitude a usual and expect-able reaction to whatever they do out of desire to see us happy?

Why to say ‘Please’ when whatever the person does for us is from the heart? Why to request when we have the right to make them do it? Why to lie when we can should rather be telling them the truth? Why to order or dupe when we can convince? In short, why to just say it to make someone feel better and not worthless? Why be the need to beg? Eyes and words can truly express if it is a real need of the time, moment or not. Isn’t that enough for the person to decide whether task’s to be done?

We always talk about the relationships being felt, experienced and being informal. But here, by making someone say, or feel the need to say these words, aren’t we making them bondaged into saying or doing that we already know, just to satisfy our hearts and egos? Isn’t that it? Why to make someone feel superior when relationships can only be shared among equals? Isn’t that what we do by giving someone the presents of the golden words? Giving them gold, and raising their worth… Does that even remain a relationship, then?

Again, what I mean by relationship isn’t a very successful, long-lasting, one-in-a-million kind of a relationship… Any and every simple relationship beginning from acquaintances to years of friendship, from parent-son to between siblings, from teacher-student to colleagues, doesn’t finally have to end there… There can always be the smiles, simple gestures and known truths that can replace the gifts of gold-studded jewellery (read: golden words)! Wouldn’t that remove the real burden of relationships from our shoulders? Wouldn’t that, in turn, make life easier? I believe, affirmative.

Au revoir!


12 responses to “>Sorry, Thank You, Please!

  • Anonymous

    >setu you are a good writer who can express in good ways through wordsi loved the way you described about the GOLDEN WORDS

  • Divya Desai

    >hii,,I just love wht u write…n everytym it just gets better!!its superb as alwayzz…

  • Anonymous

    >i dont agree Setu.I say these words when I mean it. If I hit someone by mistake i genuinely feel sorry.Imagine world without those words. I think relationship is only due to these small words. its polite and u feel good when someone speaks them. Its a living proof that gentleness and humanity still lies within people. Its better than nothing.

  • Shobha

    >Setu, I always wait to read your blogs. They really make people think…It tells we should mean through our actions and not just words. Than only these words will be Golden in true sense. My eyes got wet while reading this. Great thoughts… Keep it up. May God bless you…

  • anita bajaj

    >dear setu words are for communication.not all can understand expressions,actions and intentions.finer the relation closer the vibration,and then lesser words are required.but as you too said all relations cant be of that nature and dear what type of equality are you talking for forming a relatonship,words are clearer indications they can be used in different ways for diff. intentions but you cant do away with them. and these GOLDEN words esp. sorry and thank you if genuinely said do require a person to become more humble less egoistic.

  • manan vora

    >hey setu,well i believe that one of the most basic things for this to happen is maturity, both of the person and the relationship. if every person is matured enough to understand people and their emotions life would be a lot more simpler, but i think that is impossible. maturity, on such a level, is hard to find, even when we talk about strong relationships and therefore you cant entirely remove the use of these words. loved the level of maturity on ur side 😉

  • Ruchi Faria

    >Amazin :)October 2, 2010 at 2:54pm on Facebook

  • Pratik Mehta

    >well welll well…:POctober 2, 2010 at 4:44pm

  • Vanthana Sachdev

    >lol…fine!!!!!!!! i get da msg!!i now finally understnd y u dislyk dem sooo mch.. i wont say dem now..happy??October 2, 2010 at 6:39pm on Facebook

  • Anvi Vora

    >wel i really dnt agree completely to wad u wrote..wel nt every1 has d abilty 2 see in persons eyes o feel wad d person is tryin 2 say..some things need 2 b mentioned..October 3, 2010 at 3:00pm on Facebook

  • Dipesh Mittal

    >here's where we require understandin to knoe wht d person wants to say without sayin a word…..October 3, 2010 at 7:42pm on Facebook

  • Kunal Dhaimade

    >wel but these words do make a difference…u cant make a freakin mistake n just walk off…u sure gotta apologise…wel dese wrds can help expresssin feelings…to intensify dem…to make dem more visible…for da ppl whu dunt hav great insight!!…4 me…please makes a difference….a person just sayin sumthin …n another 1…sayin wid a please….can make a difference….but dis is ur opinion…u can always do as u like.. :))October 4, 2010 at 12:55pm on Facebookyeah sure…opinions r diff…every1 is free to follow one's own….but…wat wil u talk to sum1 to apologise….wen u r in a hurry…wen u dunno the person…i think a simple sorry can suffice….if u mean it!!….n yeah…guilt n hurt…da feelings neva hide if they r true…but sum ppl r poor at catchin dem…so…i prefer its gud…n yeah…dese wrds need not be called golden wrds…dey r just wrds…n they got a meaning…4 me…dey aint useless…i do use dem to show da respective feelin…so yeah… :))October 4, 2010 at 1:41pm on Facebookin relations…people perceive each oder widout sayin nething…so…i guess waha pe no need :))….but i m still influenced by da use of please!! :Pbtw,…u write gud…keep writing….i like al dese kind of discussions n talks :)))October 4, 2010 at 1:55pm on Facebook

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