>Pretty often have I met new people. And even more often do I hear words that are supposedly ‘Golden’. Sorry, Thank You, and Please. And I, without a doubt, fail to understand what’s so golden about these so-called Golden words?!
When we meet people, we get to know them. We share, we care, we learn, and within all this, we barely realize when we begin a new relationship. Peculiarly, every relationship we make, is based on different values and has its own importance. Some on trust, some on love, some on knowledge, some on sharing, some on caring, some on kindness… And the list, is endless! But every relationship, and (almost) everyone of us, considers that saying these golden words, is necessary, whenever the need be.
It just doesn’t get my head on it as to why should anyone use these words? What really is the significance behind it? And how many times do we really mean them?
Simply said, when we make a mistake, we say ‘Sorry’ to the people who show that we have hurt them. We don’t really apologize to those who hide their hurt just to see us happy. And that’s just where we falter!
In the world around us, there are people who want to be ‘Thanked’, who want to feel gratified, proud too, may be, and most of them, even ask for it. If not in their words, in their actions, behaviour, show, and we are lured to thanking them for whatever little or great deal they do to us, for us. Seems real and even justified, ain’t it? Not to me.
And there comes the most useful (sarcasm) word of English language. ‘Please’. Even after knowing and using English for 15 years, through school and junior college, I am still not sure what this word really means. A request? An order? A desire? A lie? Or the easiest way to dupe someone? Apparently, all. That makes me wonder about everywhere we use this word. It’s so varied and irrelevant, even.
Okay right, I am talking about ideal relationships where I wouldn’t have to use these words. But, in my opinion, every relationship is ideal. In its own simple ways.
Why should one be ‘Sorry’ for a mistake he/she makes in a relationship? Why should the other person apologize? You look into the eyes and you see that the person regrets doing what’s done, you talk to the person and you hear the guilt in the voice, you read their words and you feel that the pain has struck their heart. Through all this, you know what the other person means. That’s simple to see. In every way, they are just saying, ‘I know I made a mistake. But, I won’t repeat it. And I will take care and make sure it doesn’t. Trust me.’ And that’s what makes the difference.
Why say ‘Thank You’ when whatever we do in a relationship is to see the other person happy without expecting of rewards or returns? Why would there be a need to say it if the gesture came straight from the heart, and that’s how it normally does? Why not just let it slip by with a sweet smile, and joy in the eyes which express how truly happy you are? Why not just hug them and tell them how lucky you feel to have them in your lives? Why not just hold the moment as if it’s cherished? Why spoil the serenity of the beautiful relationship by making the feeling of gratitude a usual and expect-able reaction to whatever they do out of desire to see us happy?
Why to say ‘Please’ when whatever the person does for us is from the heart? Why to request when we have the right to make them do it? Why to lie when we can should rather be telling them the truth? Why to order or dupe when we can convince? In short, why to just say it to make someone feel better and not worthless? Why be the need to beg? Eyes and words can truly express if it is a real need of the time, moment or not. Isn’t that enough for the person to decide whether task’s to be done?
We always talk about the relationships being felt, experienced and being informal. But here, by making someone say, or feel the need to say these words, aren’t we making them bondaged into saying or doing that we already know, just to satisfy our hearts and egos? Isn’t that it? Why to make someone feel superior when relationships can only be shared among equals? Isn’t that what we do by giving someone the presents of the golden words? Giving them gold, and raising their worth… Does that even remain a relationship, then?
Again, what I mean by relationship isn’t a very successful, long-lasting, one-in-a-million kind of a relationship… Any and every simple relationship beginning from acquaintances to years of friendship, from parent-son to between siblings, from teacher-student to colleagues, doesn’t finally have to end there… There can always be the smiles, simple gestures and known truths that can replace the gifts of gold-studded jewellery (read: golden words)! Wouldn’t that remove the real burden of relationships from our shoulders? Wouldn’t that, in turn, make life easier? I believe, affirmative.