Monthly Archives: October 2010

>The Tenet.

>There’s always this moment, in everyone’s lives, which defines everything. Which puts everything we have always wondered about, thought about, pondered about, felt confused about, tormented because of, at ease and in perspective… Everything appears crystal clear from that view point, from that very moment.

That moment, is everything.

The awakening, the revival, the rebirth, the arousing. Different ways in which different people define such a moment. And whenever I see someone who has a ‘been-there-done-that’ emotion for such a moment, it feels as if they have found their way through every problem that life may ever face them with. It fills in them the strength that they will cross through every predicament, no matter now tough, complicated, compelling it may be. Seems as if they have found an answer for everything they had ever felt confused about. That feeling of satisfaction, the quenched thirst of knowledge and knowing, the moment when the reality of our life turns perfect every moment from then on, I wonder how it actually feels… But what I have end up wondering more, is what gives that moment to someone? How does one end up on that moment which elucidates the real meaning life has for him/her?

Pondering deeper into it, I realized that each one of us has a set of negative emotions inside us. And it’s these emotions which shape us into what we are today. They shape our behaviour, actions, beliefs, and even character. Few of these are feeling neglected, lonely, ignored, guilty, lost, worthless, harmed, envious, greedy. A person who has been constantly feeling lonely, might not want to mix up with people, would prefer staying from commitments, would want to venture more into himself rather than the world outside. Whereas, the ones ridden by guilt (like I discussed in my earlier blog Demeanor Of Guilt), might just end up hurting themselves unknowingly by their own actions, and abusing their own self and body as a punishment by taking blame for everything. Those ignored, would be in constant need of being told that you’re there for them, that you’re not going to abandon them. And I guess, we can relate what every other feeling can drive us to…

But the point I am making here is, the reason such emotions and feelings make things different. What’s it really? All of it lies in a single word. Something that eventuates from accumulated feelings, misjudgements, misunderstandings, breached trust, and a million words spoken in anger bringing about the strong belief deep in our sub-concious, a tenet.

Yes. It’s one goddamned hypothesis. Stupid, to others, but the most appealing axiom, to the one who has it. And it’s never many. It’s just one… May be that one has stemmed out into many other feelings, a feeling after the another, and just clogged into the brain. But it all begins and ends at one.

Somehow, each one of us knows that there are these set of emotions making us what we are today. Completely, in some form. May be not in words, or knowing how to describe it, but on the inside, all of us are enlightened enough to justify why we act the way we do. Even if someone points it out to us, we won’t accept it, or for that matter get ready to change. Why? We are so firm on what we believe that we wish the reality would blur out itself from around us. Unluckily, it ain’t so, ever…

Often defined as arrogance, this is also what stems from a tenet. The inability to accept that someone else too can be correct in those matters where you have a stronghold within your own head. That’s just one example of what a tenet can do.

Coming back to the point I made earlier about the moment which kindles the life, and how it comes by… We can and do change things for ourselves. Sometimes knowingly, sometimes unknowingly.

Somewhere, another truth is, that we all wait. Wait for that someone or something which can prove to us that what we think, believe in, accept to be true, is false. It can be a moment, the moment of reckoning; an event, the blurring of the ideology; an opinion, the instigation of a change; a thought, the small flame of a candle in a dark room; a conversation, the shattering of disbeliefs… It can be anything.

And the day we find our real selves, through these, break the shackles we are held in because of emotions, is the day we escape the bondage of The Tenets…!

Until next time…


>Sorry, Thank You, Please!

>Pretty often have I met new people. And even more often do I hear words that are supposedly ‘Golden’. Sorry, Thank You, and Please. And I, without a doubt, fail to understand what’s so golden about these so-called Golden words?!

When we meet people, we get to know them. We share, we care, we learn, and within all this, we barely realize when we begin a new relationship. Peculiarly, every relationship we make, is based on different values and has its own importance. Some on trust, some on love, some on knowledge, some on sharing, some on caring, some on kindness… And the list, is endless! But every relationship, and (almost) everyone of us, considers that saying these golden words, is necessary, whenever the need be.

It just doesn’t get my head on it as to why should anyone use these words? What really is the significance behind it? And how many times do we really mean them?

Simply said, when we make a mistake, we say ‘Sorry’ to the people who show that we have hurt them. We don’t really apologize to those who hide their hurt just to see us happy. And that’s just where we falter!

In the world around us, there are people who want to be ‘Thanked’, who want to feel gratified, proud too, may be, and most of them, even ask for it. If not in their words, in their actions, behaviour, show, and we are lured to thanking them for whatever little or great deal they do to us, for us. Seems real and even justified, ain’t it? Not to me.

And there comes the most useful (sarcasm) word of English language. ‘Please’. Even after knowing and using English for 15 years, through school and junior college, I am still not sure what this word really means. A request? An order? A desire? A lie? Or the easiest way to dupe someone? Apparently, all. That makes me wonder about everywhere we use this word. It’s so varied and irrelevant, even.

Okay right, I am talking about ideal relationships where I wouldn’t have to use these words. But, in my opinion, every relationship is ideal. In its own simple ways.

Why should one be ‘Sorry’ for a mistake he/she makes in a relationship? Why should the other person apologize? You look into the eyes and you see that the person regrets doing what’s done, you talk to the person and you hear the guilt in the voice, you read their words and you feel that the pain has struck their heart. Through all this, you know what the other person means. That’s simple to see. In every way, they are just saying, ‘I know I made a mistake. But, I won’t repeat it. And I will take care and make sure it doesn’t. Trust me.’ And that’s what makes the difference.

Why say ‘Thank You’ when whatever we do in a relationship is to see the other person happy without expecting of rewards or returns? Why would there be a need to say it if the gesture came straight from the heart, and that’s how it normally does? Why not just let it slip by with a sweet smile, and joy in the eyes which express how truly happy you are? Why not just hug them and tell them how lucky you feel to have them in your lives? Why not just hold the moment as if it’s cherished? Why spoil the serenity of the beautiful relationship by making the feeling of gratitude a usual and expect-able reaction to whatever they do out of desire to see us happy?

Why to say ‘Please’ when whatever the person does for us is from the heart? Why to request when we have the right to make them do it? Why to lie when we can should rather be telling them the truth? Why to order or dupe when we can convince? In short, why to just say it to make someone feel better and not worthless? Why be the need to beg? Eyes and words can truly express if it is a real need of the time, moment or not. Isn’t that enough for the person to decide whether task’s to be done?

We always talk about the relationships being felt, experienced and being informal. But here, by making someone say, or feel the need to say these words, aren’t we making them bondaged into saying or doing that we already know, just to satisfy our hearts and egos? Isn’t that it? Why to make someone feel superior when relationships can only be shared among equals? Isn’t that what we do by giving someone the presents of the golden words? Giving them gold, and raising their worth… Does that even remain a relationship, then?

Again, what I mean by relationship isn’t a very successful, long-lasting, one-in-a-million kind of a relationship… Any and every simple relationship beginning from acquaintances to years of friendship, from parent-son to between siblings, from teacher-student to colleagues, doesn’t finally have to end there… There can always be the smiles, simple gestures and known truths that can replace the gifts of gold-studded jewellery (read: golden words)! Wouldn’t that remove the real burden of relationships from our shoulders? Wouldn’t that, in turn, make life easier? I believe, affirmative.

Au revoir!