>Right Or Wrong

>Bonjour Readers!

Pretty frequently I face this dilemma with my own self, ‘Is what I just did right? Or should it have been the other way round?’ And I am sure, everyone of us, faces any of the following questions every once in a while. ‘Why did I do that?’ ‘Was that right?’ ‘What was in it that makes me feel terrible?’ ‘I just did what I felt. If that’s not upto your expectations, so am I possibly wrong?’ And the list goes on…

But the real question is… What’s right? What’s wrong? I believe that’s one of the most controversial question we can ever face!

I believe the distinction between ‘Right’ and ‘Wrong’ is subjective, opined and personal. It all depends upon us as to what we think it is.

To be put in simple terms and language, some people believe that those who believe in the presence of God are correct, while the atheists have their own opinion about it. Killing someone is an offense for me. But for all those terrorists and bombers out there, it would be an achievement. Breaking a signal in case of a hurry would seem as an violation of traffic rules to any onlooker, but for the person driving, it may even be a matter of life-and-death and thus he may think it’s correct. For some, winning may be all that matters, not the means. But for some others, the means and ethical winning would matter more. Thus, the events are same, but, they are ‘Right’ for some, ‘Wrong’ for some. And surely, right now, there are a million other examples in your head about contradictory situations of ‘Right’ and ‘Wrong’.

And surely, this doesn’t need much of a thought. I would just simply put it as, it’s all in our head, our bringing up, our opinions, our wishes, our desires, our decisions, our priorities, our understanding, our culture that ‘our’ conclusion about these distinction stem from.

It’s a strange fact that we do change our ‘right’s to ‘wrong’s pretty easily through the influence of someone who is very close to us or trusted by us even without using our own judgement for the same and balancing the new theory against the previous reasons which actually shaped our opinions, over a beam balance. We may not feel the gravity of it, but those around us, surely observe it knowingly or unknowingly.

And one of the most true evidences of we changing our previous conclusions are somethings we call ‘apologies’. In some cases, there may be other reasons for apologies too. But, in most cases, it is the effect of this relative difference between ‘right’ and ‘wrong’. We apologize to someone just because the person thinks it wasn’t correct and we feel it necessary to change our thoughts and opinions to match theirs just to make them feel better. But, in this process, we fail to understand that we are really losing ourselves!

The things that were ours, like opinions, decisions, understanding, judgements lose their way into oblivion!

And the only thing we can do to preserve ourselves is by owning up! Simply saying that, “What I did was right in my opinion, in my feeling, in my situation. May be you don’t know what it felt like then. And, if I felt then that it’s correct, I possibly always will!”

It’s strange how such things can influence us terribly and by leaps and bounds. A small act of ours, which is a mistake in someone else’s idea, can take us through a journey through guilt for a long time, and at the same time, a re-affirmation from someone that what you did was perfectly fine and correct, when you think you made a mess of it, just lightens our mood up and makes us feel happy and cheerful.

So, this is it. There’s this destination that I reach. I believe now I can put my understanding about ‘Right’ or ‘Wrong’ as what others around us feel, want and expect about us, which influences this simple fact and complicates it and entangles it more and more with time.

And it is this simple reason that we say there’s a hairline difference between ‘Right’ and ‘Wrong’ which we need to realize for ourselves. Because, there are innumerable people on both the sides of the line! And it completely is our jurisdiction as to which side do we belong to… And so we do end up on one side and pull out our hand to drag others to our side but often end up pulled by them into theirs… This leaves us stranded again and we lose our knowledge about ourselves!

It’s very confusing, yet simplified. It’s ‘We’ who let others affect over thoughts about the well-being of a decision, not the others. It’s our lack of trust in our own ability and self-confidence that doesn’t let us reach to the next level. It blurs our vision and takes us through the world from someone else’s eyes. It’s like wearing someone else’s clothes that you hate to cover up your wounds.

And the journey of ‘Right’ and ‘Wrong’ re-begins again…

That’s right? Nahhhh… That’s wrong? Nahhhh… That’s what I feel it is like…!

Ciao!

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About Setu Shah

Hello there. I am Setu Shah. I began blogging to put my opinions and my views in front of the world. Do comment if you find it interesting or request a change! Happy Reading! View all posts by Setu Shah

2 responses to “>Right Or Wrong

  • Shobha

    >Hi Guddu!Your blog has made me think about few things. Let me just express my understanding and my questions…1) I also believe that 'Right' and 'Wrong' is purely subjective. A person acts or takes decision as per time and circumstance. And a person's own temperament and concepts that he holds also plays role.2) If we change our opinion(without understanding and accepting it) just to make other person happy, will it not be seen in our behaviour? Will it last longer? And if not does our purpose of making other happy get served?3) Why do most of us cling and get possessive even to our opinions? Why do we resist to change? Does change always mean devolution? Don't we need to change for betterment, for evolution? Will we not lag behind if not moved ahead?4) Does holding on to "Mine" and "I" do anything else than just satisfying my "Ego"?5) What matters – who said and whose opinion it is or what message is conveyed?6) Terrorist might have his reason to kill somebody and a driver may break signal to save someone's life but at what cost? In order to do this if they risks someone else's life, health, wealth, what will be the cost of 'Right'?7) What is the meaning of word "Discipline"? Is it necessary?We all pass through these. But what is necessary is to think over…. And i am happy my son has questions in his mind….- Mom

  • Bhavin

    >Everytime I plan to read up something, the genie called Setu pops up with writings that makes me 'think'. Yeah.. You heard me right. 'Think'. As always, I really find it difficult to rate your blog. But since you have put options, you have made my task far easier. And hence, I have rated it both 'nice' and 'made me think'.You know buddy, it's always easier to distinguish between what is wrong and what is right. But the most difficult part is to distinguish it before learning about the depth of matter. The best way to differentiate between right and wrong is by hearing the whole story. I always do the same thing because I have learnt one thing from experiences (and I hope you find it helpful) A CONVICT ISN'T A CONVICT UNLESS HE IS PROVED TO BE ONE.No law permits to opinionate between the rights and wrongs of offences. But there's always one thing that keeps the world going and that is HOPE.I 'hope' that you find it easier to decipher the rights and wrongs of your life. May God bless you and may you make all of us feel proud by what you write. Because that's the only thing that gives your followers 'hope'. A 'hope' to read. A 'hope' to learn. And last but not the least, a 'hope' to reinstate the fact that 'pen is mightier than sword'.Ciao!(Sorry, couldn't rate this post with stars but for your convenience count the stars in the sky. You may get your answer. winks and smiles.)Regards,Bhavin

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