Pretty frequently I face this dilemma with my own self, ‘Is what I just did right? Or should it have been the other way round?’ And I am sure, everyone of us, faces any of the following questions every once in a while. ‘Why did I do that?’ ‘Was that right?’ ‘What was in it that makes me feel terrible?’ ‘I just did what I felt. If that’s not upto your expectations, so am I possibly wrong?’ And the list goes on…
But the real question is… What’s right? What’s wrong? I believe that’s one of the most controversial question we can ever face!
I believe the distinction between ‘Right’ and ‘Wrong’ is subjective, opined and personal. It all depends upon us as to what we think it is.
To be put in simple terms and language, some people believe that those who believe in the presence of God are correct, while the atheists have their own opinion about it. Killing someone is an offense for me. But for all those terrorists and bombers out there, it would be an achievement. Breaking a signal in case of a hurry would seem as an violation of traffic rules to any onlooker, but for the person driving, it may even be a matter of life-and-death and thus he may think it’s correct. For some, winning may be all that matters, not the means. But for some others, the means and ethical winning would matter more. Thus, the events are same, but, they are ‘Right’ for some, ‘Wrong’ for some. And surely, right now, there are a million other examples in your head about contradictory situations of ‘Right’ and ‘Wrong’.
And surely, this doesn’t need much of a thought. I would just simply put it as, it’s all in our head, our bringing up, our opinions, our wishes, our desires, our decisions, our priorities, our understanding, our culture that ‘our’ conclusion about these distinction stem from.
It’s a strange fact that we do change our ‘right’s to ‘wrong’s pretty easily through the influence of someone who is very close to us or trusted by us even without using our own judgement for the same and balancing the new theory against the previous reasons which actually shaped our opinions, over a beam balance. We may not feel the gravity of it, but those around us, surely observe it knowingly or unknowingly.
And one of the most true evidences of we changing our previous conclusions are somethings we call ‘apologies’. In some cases, there may be other reasons for apologies too. But, in most cases, it is the effect of this relative difference between ‘right’ and ‘wrong’. We apologize to someone just because the person thinks it wasn’t correct and we feel it necessary to change our thoughts and opinions to match theirs just to make them feel better. But, in this process, we fail to understand that we are really losing ourselves!
The things that were ours, like opinions, decisions, understanding, judgements lose their way into oblivion!
And the only thing we can do to preserve ourselves is by owning up! Simply saying that, “What I did was right in my opinion, in my feeling, in my situation. May be you don’t know what it felt like then. And, if I felt then that it’s correct, I possibly always will!”
It’s strange how such things can influence us terribly and by leaps and bounds. A small act of ours, which is a mistake in someone else’s idea, can take us through a journey through guilt for a long time, and at the same time, a re-affirmation from someone that what you did was perfectly fine and correct, when you think you made a mess of it, just lightens our mood up and makes us feel happy and cheerful.
So, this is it. There’s this destination that I reach. I believe now I can put my understanding about ‘Right’ or ‘Wrong’ as what others around us feel, want and expect about us, which influences this simple fact and complicates it and entangles it more and more with time.
And it is this simple reason that we say there’s a hairline difference between ‘Right’ and ‘Wrong’ which we need to realize for ourselves. Because, there are innumerable people on both the sides of the line! And it completely is our jurisdiction as to which side do we belong to… And so we do end up on one side and pull out our hand to drag others to our side but often end up pulled by them into theirs… This leaves us stranded again and we lose our knowledge about ourselves!
It’s very confusing, yet simplified. It’s ‘We’ who let others affect over thoughts about the well-being of a decision, not the others. It’s our lack of trust in our own ability and self-confidence that doesn’t let us reach to the next level. It blurs our vision and takes us through the world from someone else’s eyes. It’s like wearing someone else’s clothes that you hate to cover up your wounds.
And the journey of ‘Right’ and ‘Wrong’ re-begins again…
That’s right? Nahhhh… That’s wrong? Nahhhh… That’s what I feel it is like…!