Monthly Archives: April 2010

>Right Or Wrong

>Bonjour Readers!

Pretty frequently I face this dilemma with my own self, ‘Is what I just did right? Or should it have been the other way round?’ And I am sure, everyone of us, faces any of the following questions every once in a while. ‘Why did I do that?’ ‘Was that right?’ ‘What was in it that makes me feel terrible?’ ‘I just did what I felt. If that’s not upto your expectations, so am I possibly wrong?’ And the list goes on…

But the real question is… What’s right? What’s wrong? I believe that’s one of the most controversial question we can ever face!

I believe the distinction between ‘Right’ and ‘Wrong’ is subjective, opined and personal. It all depends upon us as to what we think it is.

To be put in simple terms and language, some people believe that those who believe in the presence of God are correct, while the atheists have their own opinion about it. Killing someone is an offense for me. But for all those terrorists and bombers out there, it would be an achievement. Breaking a signal in case of a hurry would seem as an violation of traffic rules to any onlooker, but for the person driving, it may even be a matter of life-and-death and thus he may think it’s correct. For some, winning may be all that matters, not the means. But for some others, the means and ethical winning would matter more. Thus, the events are same, but, they are ‘Right’ for some, ‘Wrong’ for some. And surely, right now, there are a million other examples in your head about contradictory situations of ‘Right’ and ‘Wrong’.

And surely, this doesn’t need much of a thought. I would just simply put it as, it’s all in our head, our bringing up, our opinions, our wishes, our desires, our decisions, our priorities, our understanding, our culture that ‘our’ conclusion about these distinction stem from.

It’s a strange fact that we do change our ‘right’s to ‘wrong’s pretty easily through the influence of someone who is very close to us or trusted by us even without using our own judgement for the same and balancing the new theory against the previous reasons which actually shaped our opinions, over a beam balance. We may not feel the gravity of it, but those around us, surely observe it knowingly or unknowingly.

And one of the most true evidences of we changing our previous conclusions are somethings we call ‘apologies’. In some cases, there may be other reasons for apologies too. But, in most cases, it is the effect of this relative difference between ‘right’ and ‘wrong’. We apologize to someone just because the person thinks it wasn’t correct and we feel it necessary to change our thoughts and opinions to match theirs just to make them feel better. But, in this process, we fail to understand that we are really losing ourselves!

The things that were ours, like opinions, decisions, understanding, judgements lose their way into oblivion!

And the only thing we can do to preserve ourselves is by owning up! Simply saying that, “What I did was right in my opinion, in my feeling, in my situation. May be you don’t know what it felt like then. And, if I felt then that it’s correct, I possibly always will!”

It’s strange how such things can influence us terribly and by leaps and bounds. A small act of ours, which is a mistake in someone else’s idea, can take us through a journey through guilt for a long time, and at the same time, a re-affirmation from someone that what you did was perfectly fine and correct, when you think you made a mess of it, just lightens our mood up and makes us feel happy and cheerful.

So, this is it. There’s this destination that I reach. I believe now I can put my understanding about ‘Right’ or ‘Wrong’ as what others around us feel, want and expect about us, which influences this simple fact and complicates it and entangles it more and more with time.

And it is this simple reason that we say there’s a hairline difference between ‘Right’ and ‘Wrong’ which we need to realize for ourselves. Because, there are innumerable people on both the sides of the line! And it completely is our jurisdiction as to which side do we belong to… And so we do end up on one side and pull out our hand to drag others to our side but often end up pulled by them into theirs… This leaves us stranded again and we lose our knowledge about ourselves!

It’s very confusing, yet simplified. It’s ‘We’ who let others affect over thoughts about the well-being of a decision, not the others. It’s our lack of trust in our own ability and self-confidence that doesn’t let us reach to the next level. It blurs our vision and takes us through the world from someone else’s eyes. It’s like wearing someone else’s clothes that you hate to cover up your wounds.

And the journey of ‘Right’ and ‘Wrong’ re-begins again…

That’s right? Nahhhh… That’s wrong? Nahhhh… That’s what I feel it is like…!

Ciao!


>It’s All About The Eyes…

>Hello readers,

It’s been quiet some time since I have been observing people and their eyes and trying to understand what they really mean to say behind those words. Here today, I just am trying to tell what ‘eyes’ of different people have told me without words…

I believe eyes are the most pure and expressive organs of the body. Any feeling that we feel, our heart feels, like happiness, sadness, love, hate, like, dislike, anger, fury, satisfaction, joy, fear, confusion, contrast, envy, loss, pain, greed, rage, grievance, confidence, etc. are just perfectly expressed by our eyes. Anything we do, what we feel when we do it, what we expect the reaction to be, everything, is just expressed through our eyes… We may control our words and actions to dupe someone, but our eyes, they just don’t listen to our brain!

Sometimes, everything happens as we want it to. At other times, it may be contrary. And we end up being disappointed. Although we don’t want to let the person know it’s so, we control our tone, volume, speech so as to ensure that the person doesn’t come to know, but, if the person knows you well, the person can surely see it in our eyes that we are disappointed. It’s this feeling that I guess we all should live for! Someone who stares into our eyes and tells us what we feel even without we saying a word.

I believe eyes can also speak leaps and bounds about the character and nature of a person. What they really are, what they really want, need, feel, etc. A few eyes tell us that there’s a joy in them, their life, others tell us about the pain and problems in their lives. They speak about the people we know, people we want to know, what we feel for them, how much we feel for them, what they mean to us… They talk to us about our inner self and how the events of the past have changed and influenced our present and might even do that for the future.

Sometimes, it feels like someone really wants us to be there, by their side, but won’t ask us to be just because of the fear of rejection or ego. Some other times, it feels like someone asks us to be there but doesn’t really feel so. It’s asked just as another formality.

And let’s face it. We have a thousand dreams, a thousand questions, a thousand expectations, a thousand wishes, a thousand problems. And every moment in the life, we have a thousand emotions running through us. The obvious question would be, do the eyes reflect every emotion? I say, yes, they do. We fail to realize that our eyes don’t listen to us. They listen to our feelings. They are very allusive. Completely alien to the world we live in where a display of vulnerability means that you would well be taken advantage of. But still, our eyes reveal it all.

It’s this expression and ability of eyes that leaves me dumbfounded. The eyes of different people, whoever they may be, friends, foes, strangers, speak a million unheard words. And not just to me, it’s to everyone. May be because I have evolved myself to this ability that it feels strange. It is strange because sometimes you just know what the person might say to you, even to a stranger.

And I always end up wondering what my eyes say to everyone around me. Although, till today, no one has ever told me, I just keep thinking about it. Is it the happiness that they reflect, or the problems that I face, or the neutral facet. It’s very compelling and yet an ignorable fact of life as to what we show ourselves as to the world through our eyes.

It is so peculiar yet an attribute the almighty has conferred us with. To just see someone and know what runs through them, through their heart. It is just too different and difficult to perceive. But, even more difficult is the task of trusting your competence to be correct at it. It’s something that works with the heart and eyes.

Within the scope of whatever I have been exploring, I have understood one thing. There can be no two people with the same set of feelings, ideas, mindsets, thoughts, opinions and everything in between. It’s always different for everyone. And that’s what simply makes us into what we are. Our eyes tell others what we are.

And so, I am a firm believer of the phrase… It’s all about the eyes…